Understanding Toddler Behavior: Supporting Emotional Growth in Early Childhood Programs

Recognizing what’s typical—and when a child might need more support

Every provider has experienced those moments: a toddler saying “no” to everything, melting down when routines change, or clinging tightly to a caregiver during drop-off. These big emotions can be challenging, but they are also a normal and healthy part of development. Between ages one and three, children are learning how to express feelings, test limits, and explore their growing independence. Understanding what’s typical—and what might signal the need for extra support—can help providers respond with patience, empathy, and confidence.

What’s Typical in Toddler Behavior and Development

Toddlers are rapidly learning to communicate and make sense of their world. It’s common to see:

• Frequent use of “no” as they learn to assert independence

• Tantrums when they’re tired, overwhelmed, or unable to express needs

• Strong reactions to changes in routines

• Clinginess in new situations or during separation

• Defiance when testing limits

These behaviors are part of how children learn self-regulation and build relationships. Instead of viewing these moments as misbehavior, providers can see them as opportunities to teach coping skills, model calm responses, and strengthen trust.

When to Pause and Reflect

Some toddler behavior may suggest a child needs additional support. These might include:

• Difficulty forming close connections with caregivers or peers

• Tantrums that are unusually intense or frequent

• Little interest in play or exploration

• Aggression that continues despite consistent guidance

• Regression in speech, sleep, or toileting skills

• Persistent sadness, fear, or irritability

• Ongoing distress during transitions or separation beyond age three

These signs are not diagnoses—they’re invitations to slow down, observe, and engage families in conversation.

Partnering with Families

Families are the child’s first teachers and best experts. When you notice patterns or shifts in behavior, approach conversations with curiosity and care. Try saying, “I’ve noticed that she’s been having a harder time with transitions lately—have you seen that at home too?” This approach invites collaboration rather than concern or judgment. If needed, providers can suggest families connect with a pediatrician or Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health (IECMH) specialist for guidance.

Building a Foundation of Support

Big feelings are not only normal—they’re necessary for growth. When providers create safe spaces for children to express themselves and partner with families to understand behavior, they help lay the foundation for lifelong emotional health. Every outburst, tear, and “no!” is a chance to teach resilience, connection, and self-regulation—skills that strengthen children, families, and communities.